Spook’s Playhouse

The phrase… the key phrase… that can either strike fear in a small child or provoke so much humor between two adults. As long as the phrase wasn’t “Watch what I do to you…” you knew your were somewhat safe. It became a competition that I think I finally won because there were several times that this happened:

Spook: What … don’t think I won’t?

Dink: Oh I know you will… I have no doubt in my mind that you will.

Yes the owner of this phrase is our lovely and funny Dink. Before I went to bed last night a lot hit me. Yesterday was one strange Monday.

First I woke up staring out at my neighborhood wondering what the hell was going on. No clue what day it was… no clue what I had to do or even if I was in my own bed… wondering if it was a dream or reality.

At work I came up with a real brain teaser… Why is it that a man can fondle another man’s nipple and it be seen as a joke or humor… yet the second a man were to fondle a woman’s nipple… humor’s out the window… I’m sure the dude would get slapped, lawyers would get involved and that dude’s going to sensitivity training. I bring this to one of my female friend’s attention. This is where the gears skipped again. In the first like minute of the conversation I somehow scored permission to publicy rub her nipples without getting kicked in the nuts by her… as opposed to some stranger that would get kicked in the nuts. And I think if the XY Chromosone factor in her life found out I publically rubbed her nipple, I think I’d have to be looking over my shoulder. So no nipple rubbin there… maybe… for a bit… hah…

But ladies and gents… I came to a conclusion yesterday. I’m more like my dad than I ever thougth I was. Anyone who knows me, that I’m a fucking crazy nut. The shit that comes out of my mouth will have you wondering what I’m on and how I’ve survived this long. Let’s look at some of my crazy antics.

Depantsed a woman in front of 1000 people letting the world see the lovely thong that she was wearing. Laughing the whole time while her date/escort/whoknowswhathewas stumbled back and forth wondering if he should enjoy the view or help out.

Blown up oranges in the Marines.

Asked a brand new mom if her baby’s actually feeding or sucking on her boobs while my mom was sitting there.

Acted like a german science fiction pilot in the Bimmer while driving to a concert.

Just to name a few. Wait till you see the hat that I wanna buy… that will stamp it on my forehead.
Well… I was supposed to go to my mom’s house last night. Didn’t quite make it since my dad decided to stop by. So called my mom let her know that I wasn’t going to be making it and entertained my dad for the evening. Well… my dad’s a fucking nut too. I now know accept the fact that it’s where I get my zaniness. Well… my dad did a “Watch what I do…”

Last month I told him I wanted to buy a house. Told him that I wanted to buy a house,  and that a few things were preventing me from buying a house. Umm… come to find out last night that my Dad was on the verge of buying me a house last month after I told him this.

Excuse me I beg your pardon what the hell did you just say?

Well… I told him that I was being sarcastic and not serious. My Dad… he’d have done it. No doubt in my mind. This is the man that left a piece of cake on my fucking mail box on Sunday night. I know he cares and that he loves me. And we have to accept how people choose to love us since it might be the only way that he knows.  So he tried to show me on Sunday by bringing me a piece of cake… I didn’t hear the doorbell because I was watching Saving Private Ryan… so he left it there on my mailbox… Ain’t he sweet? >.>

You don’t expect these words out of a 72 year old man’s mouth. But there we were sitting on my couch and there he sat as he said it:

Papa Spook: When I was younger there were three things that had to happen before I would consider marrying a woman…

Spook: (chuckling) …this I gotta hear…

Papa Spook: One, she had to be thin, no gordas… Two, I had to meet her mother so that I knew she wasn’t going to be gorda when she grew up… (it was at this point I just fell over laughing… my father… Mr. High Almighty Priest of the Catholic Church… was telling me how he didn’t want a fat chick…)

I never got to hear three because of how hard I was laughing. That and my Dad talks about having sex a lot.  Like wanting it now… that’s TMI but still funny at the same time… Needless to say tho, yes I am my father’s son. No I’m not my mother’s son. I love my parents dearly. And it’s with age that I’ve come to realize just how much. There’s nothing wrong with having the more endearing qualities of both of my parents. Just so long as I’ve changed the things that are in myself that I learned from them. And I think I got there. Last night in one of the few conversations that I had with my Dad, I think he realized that I came out on top of life. And with the wisdom that I have… I’m ready for the next 50 years of my life.
Tuesday fucked up blah blah blah session over. I hope today is as interesting as it was yesterday. Off to the DOT.